Many of us are having to manage more anxiety than normal, as well as drastic changes in our daily lives. There are two key principles which it is useful to bear in mind: Managing anxiety takes mental strength and energy, and, that the state of our morale affects the state of our immune system. (At this point I have to say this doesn’t mean that anyone who becomes ill wasn’t positive enough. Absolutely not. Rather just that we know that keeping our spirits up is important to supporting our immune system. It’s not a guarantee of perfect health!)
Bearing these two key things in mind, here are ten tips for managing anxiety and keeping your spirits up
1. Count your blessings
The new science of positive psychology has proved the benefits of the old adage of, when you are feeling low, counting your blessings. The exercise they have designed is known as the ‘three good things’ exercise. At the end of each day, identify three good things that have happened during the day. It’s good practice to write them down. Doing this regularly helps train your brain to look for the positives amongst the gloom, to find the silver linings if you like. For instance today in the paper there was a report on the positive effect of the lockdown for wildlife.
2. Reasons to be cheerful
In addition, you might like to think each day of a good outcome of the current crisis- a reason to be cheerful. I’ve been doing this and putting them out on twitter. Today mine is going to be: Lockdown means chance of being hit by a bus – zero!
3. Gallows humour
Which brings me to my next tip, the use of humour, specifically ‘gallows’ humour. I worked as a social worker in child protection for many years. Gallows humour was crucial for getting us through the sadder and tougher times. It exists for a reason. To make the unbearable bearable, to restore functionality quickly when a collapse into despair isn’t helpful. Be aware it doesn’t travel; it is very specific to the moment. And some people appreciate it more than others. Laughing in the face of death is a well-known coping mechanism, it works for me in small doses. Laughter reduces threats to size.
4. Humour generally
There is lots of evidence that laughing is good for us and for our immune system. Whatever rocks your funny bone. Remember, this all may be no laughing matter, but, also, we don’t have to be solemn to be serious. Laughing is a good coping mechanism
5. Managing your news feed
We are being offered 24-hour, worldwide updates. Following all this is not likely to do you any good. You can’t influence things other than by taking the sensible precautions we’ve all been told about. So take positive control and limit your daily diet. Personally I read the paper rather than watch the news. One benefit of this is that there is less ‘emotional contagion’ from the page than from a person, so less transmission of anxiety. I listen to classic FM rather than my usual preference of Radio Four. I leave the room when dear beloved is getting his evening fix of doom and gloom from the evening TV news.
6. Have a worry half-hour
This is a time-honoured technique of ‘allowing’ yourself a specific allotted time to worry as much as you like. So if you need to, spend 15 to 30 minutes allowing yourself to name all your worries. Write them in a ‘dear diary’ if you have no one at home. Or arrange a mutual strictly focused and time limited phone call with another ‘worrywart’. And when your time is up, stop, close that box and move on with your day knowing you have another half hour of worry time allocated tomorrow. With any luck doing this will reduce the likelihood of doing your worrying in the small wee hours, which is the worst possible time to do it.
7. Get into flow
Find things to do that ‘take you out of yourself’. When we are completely absorbed in things we are in a state of ‘flow’ and when we are in this state we are not focused on our feelings. It’s like getting a holiday from your worried self. For me writing, gardening, and complicated cooking (or these days ‘creating from what we have got to hand’) all offer me productive escape time. This is usually more effective than mindless TV watching (where half your brain is still ticking along thinking about it all). A good, complex film though, is a different matter.
8. Eat well and exercise
You are no longer at the mercy of the snack bars, train trolleys, airline catering etc. as you skedaddle from one place to another. Make the most of it to eat healthily. Lots of fruit and vegetables are good for immune system. Exercise is very important to both mental and physical health. You know the rules about keeping your distance. Put your face mask on and get out there and yomp for an hour somewhere green.
9. Phone a friend
Social contact is another thing that is very important to our wellbeing. I am fortunate that I am marooned with dear beloved. Even so, I am resolved to talk on the phone to at least one person who isn’t him every day. You might want to talk about the situation, that’s fine. However, I would suggest you also ask them about their plans for the day, what they are hoping to achieve during this period of lockdown. In other words, try to help them see a silver lining. Ideally you will both come away from the phone call feeling slightly better not even worse!
10. Have longer-term projects on the go
‘Wise people’, someone once said ‘prepare for the worse while hoping for the best’. Once you’ve done what you can to prepare for the worse, then turn your energy to hoping for the best. Starting projects suggests an optimism about the future that becomes self-reinforcing. Uncertainty can act to paralyse us. By pro-actively starting a project we can break out of that paralysis. The hardest part is getting started, but one you do it will draw you forward. Apart from total house rearrangement, I’ve started a new tapestry kit. These take me years to complete. But every evening I can admire the couple of square inches I’ve completed and feel I’m making progress.
And finally, I try to remind myself that, while Coronavirus is a new and scary threat, we live with our mortality all the time and habitually take precautions to increase our chances of staving it off. I cross at the lights, I avoid eating bad food, I get my flu jab, etc. None of these guarantee my continued survival but they are habits that help. Our new temporary habits of social distancing, hand washing are really just more of the same.
Oh and chocolate! A little bit of chocolate with morning coffee just gives my morale a quick boost!
Stay well,
Sarah